U.S. Ralph Beistline of Anchorage; Dumbo

The state of New York presented Ralph R. Beistline with a law license in 1974 after he graduated from Puget Sound Law School.

In 1999 former President George W. Bush was duped into appointing Beistline as a U.S. District Court judge in Anchorage. Beistline didn’t receive the appointment because he was the most qualified attorney in the greater Anchorage area. He received it because he had proven to be a reliable lackey for the local political hacks.

In one matter, Judge Beistline was assigned to hear the case of the guardian for Madly Liebsack. The guardian had filed suit under the Federal Tort Claims Act (FTCA) after Madlyn was left in a permanent vegetative state when she was treated with an elevated level of lithium to treat her schizoaffective disorder.

The plaintiff contended that federal healthcare providers negligently failed to monitor Madlyn's lithium levels and the government's primary defense was that an advanced nurse practitioner who was responsible for Madlyn's psychiatric care was at fault.

Madlyn’s lawyers appealed Beistline’s asinine rulings as to liability ruling. The Court of Appeals reversed Beistline’s ignorant ruling by holding that Alaska Statute 09.20.185 was a state rule of "witness competency" that applied to this action under Federal Rule of Evidence 601, as well as part of Alaska's substantive law, making it applicable to FTCA actions under section 2674; none of the government's evidence regarding the nurse's negligence complied with section 09.20.185; and the error by Beistline was not harmless.

Of course Beistline doesn’t much give a damn how many times his asinine rulings are reversed by the Court of Appeals because he knows that he cannot be removed from the bench for being a Certified Moron.

As we speak, (ca. June 2015) Judge Beistline continues to sit as a District Court judge in Anchorage, Alaska.