U.S. Judge Lisa Smith of White Plains, NY; lifetime porker, pugilist

The state of Louisiana presented Yvette Mansfield Alexander with a law license in 1980 after she graduated from Duke University Law School.

Lisa has had her significant snout firmly implanted in the public trough since she received her law license in 1980. Put simply, if it wasn’t for government work, Lisa would likely be working as a greeter at the Wal-Mart store on Main Street in White Plains.

It is obvious that no self-respecting law firm in the greater New York City area was about to offer Lisa a good paying job.

In 1995, Lisa was able to obtain an appointment by a majority vote of the District Court Judges in from the Southern District of New York.

In one matter, a complaint was filed against Lisa for encouraging her nephew to cover up his knowledge of a summer night’s attack on teenage skinny-dipping girls and the hitting of a distraught mother who questioned Lisa about the matter.

Lisa was approached at a beach campfire by the woman, who swore at Lisa and her family, and claimed they were lying to protect others who assaulted her daughters and stole their clothes.

Lisa then struck (assaulted) the woman and screamed: “You can’t call me a fucking liar—I’m a U.S. magistrate judge.

Subsequently, Lisa laughingly denied that she “intentionally” hit anyone. How do you unintentionally smack someone?

As expected, Chief Judge Dennis Jacobs, chief judge of the Second Circuit Court of Appeals dismissed the complaint of misconduct against Lisa. In dismissing the complaint against Lisa, Judge Jacobs had the chutzpah to state that it was simply a “private dispute between private citizens, one of whom happens to be a judge.”

Jacobs went on to state that alleged illegal behavior should not automatically be classified as judicial misconduct, even if it involved a crime: “Categorization of an offense under state law is not a sufficient basis for a finding of misconduct.”

Contrary to the comic opinion of Judge Jacobs, a civil jury found Lisa guilty of committing a battery on the woman that she slapped.

It’s nice to know that criminal conduct committed by U.S. Judges in New York does not constitute misconduct.

As we speak (ca. February 2014), Lisa remains sitting as a U.S. Magistrate Judge in White Plains, New York, which is about 30 miles north of New York City.