Donald “Trumporleone” Trump assembles criminal defense team

This isn’t the first award presented to The Great Leader. In the past he has been the subject of 534 awards, 111 opinion pieces and 85 laments. For a list of the prior awards and/or articles, see the items detailed at the end of this article.

With the knowledge that if he loses the 2020 election to Joe Biden that he will likely face arrest and prosecution for a myriad of felonies on both the federal and state levels, The Great Leader has decided it would be wise to assemble a group of eminently qualified and universally acknowledged as the most gifted and experienced criminal defense attorneys in the U.S. of A.

Several unreliable and anonymous sources have indicated that The Great Leader has decided to name his criminal defense team “The Dirty Dozen” given their proven ability to get down in the gutter in defending the indefensible. With that said, below are the names of the members of “The Dirty Dozen.”

• Rep. Michelle Bachman: Oral Roberts University
• Fox’s Laura Ingraham: University of Virginia
• Rep. Louie Gohmert: Baylor University
• Kellyanne Conway: George Washington University
• Ann Coulter: University of Michigan
• Fox’s Geraldo Rivera: Brooklyn Law School
• Rev. Pat Robertson: Yale Law School
• Rep. Jim Jordan: Capitol University – ranked 161^st best law school
• Roy Moore: University of Alabama
• Kimberly Guilfoyle (Trump Jr’s main squeeze): University of San Francisco
• Former Sen. Rick Santorum: Dickinson School of Law
• Mark Levin: Temple University

In the event he is prosecuted in New York state, The Great Leader has directed Attorney General Bill Barr to appoint former Judge Jeannine Pirro to preside over any criminal trials involving him and/or members of his family. Likewise, Barr was instructed to appoint former U.S. Judge Samuel Kent to preside over any federal criminal cases due to his prior experience at lying about his sexual misconduct while on the bench in Galveston, Texas.

For additional post-election articles re: The Don visit the articles below

1. Trump miscellaneous opinion articles: Art. 3 thru 75 Dawg Opinions
2. Trump’s victims of Draining the Swamp: Art. 76 thru 86 Dawg Opinions
3. Trump Filling the Swamp: Art. 87 thru 92 Dawg Opinions
4. Trump miscellaneous opinion articles: Art. 93 thru 99
5. Trump miscellaneous opinion articles: Art. 323 thru 338 Dawg Opinions 
6. Dawg Laments: Art. 2 thru 87
7. Ass-Kisser Awards = 8
8. Bigot/Racist Awards = 20
9. Bullshit Awards = 72
10. Chicken Little Awards = 7
11. Dumbo Awards = 5
12. Humanitarian Award = 11
13. IHOP (Flip-Flop) Awards = 3
14. Liar Awards = 132
15. Lunatic Awards = 29
16. Misc. Awards = 95
17. Misogynist Awards = 3
18. Moron Awards = 48
19. Narcissist Awards = 37
20. Screwball Awards = 12
21. Rodney Dangerfield Comic Awards = 52