2017 Federal Judge Geezer Award Winner: Donald VanArtsdalen of Pennsylvania

The inaugural award is presented to the Federal Judge who has distinguished himself or herself by refusing to retire from the bench even though in most instances they are holder than dirt.

The state of Pennsylvania provided Donald West VanArtsdalen with a law license in 1948 after he graduated from the University of Pennsylvania Law School.

Former President Richard Nixon was duped into nominating Donnie for a seat as a District Court judge for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania in January 1970. Donnie wasn’t nominated because he was the most qualified attorney in the greater Philadelphia area. He got it because he had proven to be a reliable lackey for the local and state political hacks.

It should be noted that in October 1985 Donnie opted to assume the position of senior status judge. This meant that he was only required to work 10 hours a week while collecting 100% of a full-time judge’s annual salary, which as of 2018 would be $205,100. Put simply, Donnie has been required to work a mere 10 hours a week for the past thirty-three (33) years.

Donnie was age-eligible to retire in 1989 because he was 70-years-of age (DOB: 1919) and had more than 10 years of judicial service. Had he retired in 1989, he would have received a lifetime annual pension of $89,500. However, by taking on Senior Status in 1985, Donnie was entitled to all future pay increases, which subsequently added $115,000 to his annual wage.

In Donnie’s case, we are dealing with a lifer who has been digesting public pork for the past sixty-four (64) years. Donnie the Geezer was born in 1919 in Doylestown, Pennsylvania and is now 100-years-old.

Apparently, Donnie is attempting to outlive the following Geezers who left the bench in a wooden box rather than retire like any normal person would do at age 65 or 70.

104-year old Judge Wesley Brown of Kansas: DOB 1907 – Died on bench 2012

103-year old William Augustus Bootle of Georgia: DOB 1902 – Died on bench in 2005

101-year-old Judge Charles Joiner of Michigan: DOB 1916 – Died on bench 2017

It is rumored that the bailiff in Judge VanArtsdalen courtroom in Philadelphia is required to maintain a pair of workable jumper cables in case the old codger needs a little jolt.

And finally, in truth, who in the hell would want their legal case presided over by and ruled upon by a judge who is 100-years of age?

As we speak (ca. March 2018), Donnie continues to sit as a Federal District Court Judge in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.