► Ex-Judge Michael McGuire of North Dakota a despicable pervert? Print E-mail
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Ex-Judge Michael McGuire of North Dakota; despicable pervert

Prior to 2004, Judge Michael McGuire dedicated his judicial career to providing useless services at an exorbitant cost to the taxpayers of Fargo, North Dakota.
To refer to Judge Michael McGuire as a “certified pervert” would clearly be unfair to dedicated perverts such as Boston pedophile priest Father Geoghan.
Prior to 2004, the inept enablers and apologists sitting on the North Dakota Judicial Commission filed an ethics complaint against Judge McGuire, which included the following charges of misconduct under the appropriate headings below.
Sex with a Pig – or was it a Sheep?
In a successful effort to cement himself as a die-in-the-wool (pun intended) pervert, Judge McGuire began a sexually explicit conversation with a female court employee by claiming he had heard: "That a man at the local county fair had allegedly had sex with a pig" (An unreliable source indicated that Judge McGuire was upset upon learning that the "Pig" was none other than his paramour,"Ms. Piggy."
When the Judicial Commission confronted him about this comment, Judge McGuire readily and cheerfully admitted he so acted. However, in his defense, Judge McGuire said his sole intent was to disabuse any misunderstanding that the feller had sex with a sheep.
In truth, Judge McGuire’s hyperbolic (BS) defense was to claim under oath that he wanted to assure that the female court employee fully understood that the feller at the county fair was having sex with a Pig and not a Sheep. Goshes and Gollies and Gee Whillickers Boys and Girls, I feel better now, how about y’all?
Luckily for me, an unreliable source provided me with an image/photo of the Sheep (didn't indicate if it was a male or female) that Judge McGuire was apparently enamored with. In fact, the image/photo specifically depicts Judge McGuire attempting to persuade "Sheila the Sheep"  that he is in fact "the go-to-guy" in Fargo, which apparently he was.  Bah, Bah, Bah, as they say!
Don’t y’all find it distasteful when ya read stories in the New York Times and/or Washington Post about some public official who is alleged to have “porked-a-pig” in God’s Country? Even more disturbing was the 20-minute special on 60 minutes moderated by Mike Wallace – remember that Boyz and Girls?
The news-stories about Judge McGuire’s “farm-animal” antics raised more questions than they answered if ya know what I mean. These stories would make one wonder if the “feller” allegedly having sex with a Pig (aka, Ms. Piggy) was in fact Judge McGuire and/or one of his judicial cohorts.
Unreliable sources in the Fargo area indicated to this reporter that the local judges always don a judicial robe when visiting barnyard animals, fully aware that they become frightened at the sound of a zipper.
To be excruciatingly fair to Judge McGuire and/or those of his ilk, as is my wont, it might not be illegal to have sex with barnyard animals in North Dakota. However, it may be more properly a matter of scientific inquiry for the geneticists to determine whether the intelligence level of any offspring was diluted by the breeding process. I mean a dilution of the animal’s intelligence. Wouldn’t want that, would we?
Hear tell that the vocabulary of Judge Michael McGuire’s sexual partners was quite limited to mouthing, “Bah, Bah, Bah, Bah” and/or “Oink, Oink, Oink!”
Sexual touching and comments by the Dishonorable Judge Michael McGuire
Would y’all be surprised to learn that Mikey was also dedicated his judicial career in Fargo to sexually abusing female court employees? Clearly folks, if one embarks on a relationship with the local farm animals, then would it it be a stretch to conclude that he is also a practicing misogynist who has dedicated his judicial career to the sexual exploitation of court employees regardless of gender?
Eloise Haaland, a courthouse employee said that Mike’s inappropriate sexual comments began soon after he took the bench in 1979. Examples of the perverted comments/conduct of Mike are as follows:
  • Touched/made sexually crude (Is there another kind?) remarks to at least 7-female court employees over a number of years
  • Asked a group of court employees about their sex-lives in the courthouse
  • Asked a male, I’m sorry I mean female employee to sleep with him (allegedly she said she’d rather sleep with “Clarice the Shepherd” than with “Mike the Perv”
  • Mike engaged in a discussion with a female court employee about how the word “clitoris” should be defined/prounounced. Hey Mikey Baby, I believe that it’s pronounced: “as’hōl’.” 
  • After repeatedly harassing a court employee for many years, The Perv asked her “now can I sleep with you."
As a result of his revolting and despicable conduct the certified misogynists (aka, Justices of the North Dakota Supreme Court) punished “Mike the Perv” by directing that he undergo “sexual harassment sensitivity classes.” He was already a ‘”celebrated pervert,” so what was the point of this excercise in futility?
It would appear that the Justices of the North Dakota Supreme Court missed their collective calling as “stand-up comedians.”
Lastly, do ya really belive that the judges, attorneys, prosecutors and/or public defenders in Fargo weren’t aware for twenty or mor years that Judge McGuire was a practicing pervert? However, in a years-long effort to protect this unrepentent pervert, each and every one of them treated their oaths of office to protect the public with unabashed contempt! 

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