No. 2—The Monster Mash

New title: The Scammers Mash

Lyrics: Scammy & the Scamettes

I was working in the shop late one night

When my eyes beheld a scary sight

For my scammer from his slab began to rise

And suddenly to my surprise

They did the mash

They did the scammers mash

The scammers mash

It was a coin shop smash

They did the mash

It caught on in a flash

They did the mash

They did the scammers mash

From my coin shop in the castle east

To my Key Largo estate where the scammers feast

The scammers all came from their upscale abodes

To get a jolt from my elect-trodes

They did the mash

They did the scammers mash

The scammers mash

It was a coin shop smash

They did the mash

It caught on in a flash

They did the mash

They did the scammers mash

The Republicans were having fun

The party had just begun

The guests included a Con Man

Voinovich and his son

The scene was rockin’ all were digging my coins

Kenny on chains, backed by his scamming hounds

The ballot-box bangers were about to arrive

With their vocal group, “The Vote-Stealing Five”

They played the mash

They played the scammers mash

The scammers mash

It was a coin shop smash

They played the mash

It caught on in a flash

They played the mash

They played the scammers mash

Out from his office, Bob’s voice did ring

Seems he was troubled by just one thing

He opened Noe’s envelope and shook his fist

And said, “Whatever happened to my Cincinnati twist?”

It’s now the mash

It’s now the scammers mash

The scammers mash

And it’s a coin shop smash

It’s now the mash

It’s caught on in a flash

It’s now the mash

It’s now the scammers mash

Now everything’s cool, Bob’s a part of the scam

And my scammers mash is the hit of the land

For you, the takers, this mash was meant too

When you get to my door, tell them No-e sent you