Today’s Judicial Misfit is:
Las
Vegas Judge Elizabeth Halverson
Halverson was elected to the bench in
There is no dispute that Halverson is obese. In fact
as of this writing she weighed a svelte 425 pounds. Now, I have nothing against
obese folks, so please no nasty emails from “Fatties Anonymous.” Of course the
picture above isn’t really Halverson, although I believe it to be a fair
representation.
For those of you who are adventuresome, you will find
a link at the bottom of this story that will take you to an array of actual
Halverson photos. However, as a practicing ethicist, I believe I have an ethical
and moral duty to warn you to not view this photo lineup if you have eaten in
the last 45 minutes.
As to Halverson’s obesity, unreliable sources
indicated that all of the major casinos in
Halverson’s
Empirical Conduct
Upon ascending to her throne, Halverson immediately
embarked on treating Mr. Jordan, her bailiff as her personal manservant by
requiring him to perform the following:
Don and remove
her shoes (steel-toed boots to protect against a falling burger)
Heat and serve
her meals (in a 4’ x 4’ custom made microwave)
Massage her
feet, neck and shoulders (Aghhh!)
Arrive at 7:00
am and wait at the courthouse door for her majesty to appear
Spy on other
judges and courthouse employees
Change her
oxygen bottles
Pick up cookie
crumbs and sunflower seed hulls strewn on the floor of her chambers
Cover her with a
blanket before her nap (used boat tarp)
Put a blanket
under her head while she laid on a couch
Clean the lint
off her belly-button, I’m sorry I mean robe
Help her get up
off the couch (with the assistance of an overhead hoist)
Ya gotta ask yourself what in the hell is someone who
weighs 425 pounds doing woofing down cookies? I wasn’t aware that Jenny Craig
recommended “Oreo- Double-Stuff” cookies as an approved dietary supplement. It
is clear that in addition to being ethically deprived that, Halverson is also
an unabashed slob. My sincere apologies to ethically insolvent slobs!
Halverson’s defense requiring Mr.
Unbelievably (maybe we shouldn’t be surprised),
Halverson had her microwave and refrigerator located in her chambers bathroom,
which courtroom staff said had “foul odors.” Oh, really? In defending her
action in requiring Mr.
Now, I suspect that you will at first blush, find
Halverson’s statement not only absurd but laughable. Of course her comment is
suspect since she weighs 425 pounds. However, in the interest of justice there
could be some truth in what she said. Towards that end, it is possible that Mr.
Jordan expressed worry and concern about her need to eat.
It is important to remember that Mr. Jordan was
certainly upset about being treated as Halverson’s personal slave. Obviously,
he knew that he was an “at will employee,” meaning Halverson didn’t have to
justify his firing. And it goes without saying that Mr. Jordan needed the job
and surely didn’t want to do anything to cause Halverson to fire him.
With that said, I believe it is possible that Mr.
Jordan set into motion a scheme to overfeed Halverson in the hopes that her
weight would balloon by at least 30%. And if it did, he likely knew that her
girth would prevent her from passing through the courthouse door. If this fact
pattern is true, I trust that it would shock your conscience.
Halverson’s Slurs re: Mr. Hunter
When Halverson’s mother visited her in chambers and
saw Mr.
Halverson demeaning her lackey husband
Halverson’s husband Ed is without doubt nothing more
than a compliant lackey, ass-kisser, bootlicker, apple-polisher, and all-around
gopher, and those are his good points. As a convicted felon, it would appear
that he decided to cozy up to Halverson hoping that her judicial connections
would be beneficial to him.
As evidence of Ed’s bootlicking abilities, he
complied with Halverson’s demand that he appear in Court to answer under oath
whether he had completed the household chores she had assigned to him. Now, ya
gotta be one big time brownnosing lackey to follow this kind of idiotic order,
right?
On more than one occasion, Halverson asked Mr.
Halverson the “Slob”
Recently, the
Large amounts of
trash in the backyard
Overgrown weeds
and shrubs
A shed that was
nearly collapsed
Mosquito-infested
slime in the swimming pool
Tents pitched on
the driveway packed with empty oxygen bottles
Trash strewn on
the porch
Sadly, Halverson’s application for “Housekeeper of
the Year” was withdrawn by Good Housekeeping after it received actual photos of
her home and pool. However, it appears that she may well reapply for the 2009
award in the event that Eddie performs the tasks assigned to him.
Halverson’s Potty Mouth
Halverson found it appropriate to scream at court
employees by referring to them as bitches, dumb fucks, dumb asses, the evil
one, the elf and the Antichrist. Kinda makes the ol’ adage, “mirror, mirror on
the wall” or “it takes one to know one,” rather apropos, right?
Halverson also called Eddie a “stupid
son-of-a-bitch,” “fucker,” “dumb fuck,” and “bitch” (her bitch apparently since
he’s no longer in the joint) in the presence of court personnel. I fail to
understand how the Judicial Commission could, with a straight face; claim that
these statements constitute judicial misconduct. After all, Eddie is a “stupid
son-of-a-bitch” for readily accepting the position as Halverson’s manservant,
right? If I was Eddie the Felon, I would have gone to my parole officer, begged
(actually demanded) that he revoke my parole and send me back to the joint. I
can’t imagine that Eddie’s parole officer would have turned him down after
learning of the cruel and unusual punishment he received at the hands of
Halverson sleeping on the bench
Court personnel testified that Halverson fell asleep
every day in the courtroom and did so even while she presided over criminal
trials. Several court staffers testified that court employees developed ways [how about passing a Big Mac under her nose] to signal each other when it was time for someone to
wake her up. Halverson didn’t deny that she slept on the bench; however, she
defended it by blaming it on some physical disability.
Miscellaneous Frivolity
In addition to the above, Halverson also made
demeaning comments in her courtroom to attorneys who did not donate to her
campaign. She admitted to so acting but laughingly claimed that she never
discriminated against them for so acting.
In regards to staff complaints about her treatment of
her husband Eddie during his frequent visits to the court, Halverson agreed
that she would instruct him to stop coming by. She further agreed that in the
future she would dress him down in the lobby of the Circus Circus Casino, the Scores
gentleman’s Club or in the alternative, at the Las Vegas Convention Center.
Another Vegas judge suggested to Halverson that she
get professional help. She agreed, saying she would like a business coach to help
her and her staff communicate better. It is rumored that initially Donald Trump
agreed to so act; however, he opted out when he discovered that she didn’t
possess any redeeming qualities. After being rebuffed by “The Donald,” she
apparently agreed to attend a week-long seminar at the O.J. Simpson Institute
for Communication Skills located in a woman’s shelter in
Halverson illegally cavorting with jurors
On several occasions, Halverson waddled into the jury
room while the jurors were deliberating in criminal cases. She then engaged
them by answering their questions and/or posing questions to them. In once
instance, her conduct forced the prosecutor to offer the defendant an unwanted
and unwarranted plea deal that was only necessitated by her misconduct.
On other occasions, Halverson ordered in barbeque for
the jurors while they were deliberating and joined in with them. She also
provided gifts to the jurors. She defended this illegal action by claiming that
she wanted the jurors to like her. I’m of the opinion that she did so in order
to persuade the jurors to vote for her in August.
Halverson’s so-called defense attorneys
Halverson employed Gamage & Gamage (should be
Damage & Damage) to defend her during hearings before the Judicial
Commission. I read the transcripts of the hearings, and they establish that in
particular, attorney John Arrascada isn’t too bright, and I’m being overly
generous.
Arrascada repeatedly objected when Mr. Hunter was
testifying on the grounds that his testimony was hearsay, which it clearly
wasn’t. It was apparent that the presiding judge was taken aback at Arrascada’s
incompetence. On numerous occasions Arrascada objected on hearsay grounds when
in fact Hunter testified to statements made directly to him and/or in his
presence.
Now, if I represented a client in this fashion, I
would anticipate that I would be the recipient of a malpractice action and
rightfully so. If Damage & Damage billed Halverson anything approaching the
legal minimum wage in
Conclusion
Again, Halverson is proof positive that the judiciary
is in many instances manned by an assortment of misfits. Of course you’ve got
to ask yourself “How in the hell did she ever become a judge in the first
place?” Unfortunately, she was able to dupe the voters in
Prior to duping the voters, Halverson spent 9 years
as a law clerk in the Clark County District Court system. Law clerks now earn
about $57,000 a year. I’m assuming that in 2000 the salary was around $40,000.
If in fact Halverson was a highly competent attorney, I can assure you that law
firms in
After pooling-the-wool over the voters’ eyes in 2007,
Halverson’s annual salary jumped from $57,000 to $130,000 a year, which I
believe is about 5 times what she was worth. Unbelievably, Halverson is running
for reelection on Aug 12, 2008. I can’t imagine that the voters in
Sources:
Halverson Photo Lineup – Click here if you
dare