► Attorney Eugene Garrett of Boca Raton; criminal, moron, Winona Wannabee

Attorney Eugene Garrett of Boca Raton; criminal, moron and Winona Wannabee

In a previous life, attorney Eugene Garret was a District Court Judge in Delray Beach, Florida.

Judge Eugene Garrett and Shoplifting 101

In May 1992, Judge Eugene Garrett was arrested for shoplifting

On May 13, 1992, Gene was arrested for shoplifting a VCR Plus device at a Target Store in Delray Beach. Once outside the store, Gene was stopped by a store security guard who asked him for a receipt. When the guard turned his head away for a second to use his radio, Gene took off running and the guard took off after him.

After his apprehension, Gene begged the officers (like the lowdown mangy dog he is – (my apologies to mangy dogs) to give him a break and let him go, and offered to pay for the merchandise, indicating the incident would “ruin him.”

Later Gene was charged with retail theft, admitted his guilt, and was ordered to attend a shoplifter’s awareness program. What in the hell is a “shoplifter’s awareness program?”

Judge Eugene Garrett’s Novel Defenses

In an inept attempt at humor, Judge Eugene Garrett put forth the following hyperbolic (BS) defenses regarding his criminal conduct.

In his response to the commission, Gene defended his criminal shoplifting as follows:

May was the 41^st anniversary of his father’s death
Was a workaholic and had a low sense of self esteem
Was irritable and had some difficulty with sleeping
Concern over school problems of his two children

Are these magical defenses or what? However, to be fair to attorney Eugene Garrett, on the anniversary of my father’s death, I normally rob a convenience store or just assault a senior citizen, which usually eliminates any angst or depression I’m suffering from. How about you? What felonies do you commit on the anniversary of you Mom’s demise?

Let’s take a minute and see how this BS defense would work in court for a criminal that is held to a much lower standard of conduct than a judge.

Judge: Okay Johnny, tell me what your defense is to stealing that BMW

Johnny: Ya Honor; it was the 41^st anniversary of mom’s death

Judge: In this court, only a father’s death counts. And besides, you ain’t no judge, therefore I find this defense inadmissible as a matter of law

Johnny: Ya Honor, I’ve also been somewhat irritable lately; havin’ trouble sleeping.

Judge: What are ya, some kind of smartass? That’s surely an acceptable defense for a judge, but it damn sure ain’t for no lowdown factory worker. You’re going to jail now, boy!

Conclusion

In 1993, the Florida Supreme Court removed Judge Eugene Barrett from the bench; however, he was allowed to retain his law license, which only further proves that judges/attorneys are held to a much “lower standard of conduct” then we are.

According to the Florida State Bar, attorney Eugene Barrett practices law in Boca Raton (http://tinyurl.com/y9hut6d).