► 08/30/07 letter to Sen. Larry Craig re: tap dancing in Minneapolis mens room Print

08/30/07 letter to Sen. Larry Craig re: tap dancing in Minneapolis mens room

 
The letter below was faxed to Senator Larry Craig’s congressional offices in Boise, Idaho and Washington D.C. on August 30, 2007. Apparently, Senator Larry Craig was unable to respond in a timely fashion.

Ol’ Craig was probably too busy tip-toeing through the men’s rooms at the airports in Boise, Minneapolis and DC, if ya know what I mean.

 

 

August 30, 2007

 

United States Senator Larry Craig
 
Re: Minneapolis Airport restroom escapade
 
Dear Senator Craig:
 
I have religiously followed the reports regarding your recent arrest at the Minneapolis Airport and subsequent guilty plea. With all due respect, I found your explanations to be quite novel to say the least.
 
I am of the firm conviction that the sexual preferences of my fellow citizens are a personal matter. Put simply, if you agree to not look into my bedroom window, I agree to reciprocate. My opinion on this matter was confirmed in an article I wrote last year in regards to Dr. James Dobson (Focus on the Family) titled “Dr. James Dobson and Gay Bashing 101.”
 
I personally find those who engage in hyperbolic hypocrisy to be particularly offensive individuals. It’s too bad that everyone doesn’t  heed the wise words of my now deceased father whose mantra was “Mind your own business!” If everyone did, especially as it relates to matters of personal choice, I think we’d all be better off, right?
 
Using the Idaho Statesman as a whipping boy for your problems seems to be rather disingenuous at best. If you feel compelled to make repeated visits to the men’s room at airports throughout the county while tap dancing, etc., that’s fine with me.
 
I believe the experience would be even more enjoyable if we could persuade the Federal Aviation Administration to agree to pipe in some appropriate music at the men’s restrooms throughout the nation. If we could, then I would suggest they pipe in that ol’ ditty from yesteryear “The Hokey Pokey,” which goes something like this:
 
 

 

You put your left foot in (adjoining stall)
You put your left foot out
You put your left foot in
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey-Pokey
And turn yourself around
That’s what it’s all about! 
 

 

You put your left hand in (adjoining stall)
You put your left hand out
You put your left hand in
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey-Pokey
And you turn yourself around
That’s what it’s all about!
 

 

You put your whole head in (adjoining stall)
You put your head out
You put your head in
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey-Pokey
And you turn yourself around
That’s what it’s all about!
 
You put your whole self in (adjoining stall)
You put your whole self out
You put your whole self in
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey-Pokey
And you turn yourself around
That’s what it’s all about!
 
 

 

Thanks for your time and attention to this matter.

 

_____________________
David Palmer
Folsom, California