Paul Manafort begs Donald "Trumporleone" Trump for a Pardon

After being indicted on twelve (12) felonies by a federal grand jury in early November 2017 and unwilling at this time to spill the beans on Donald “Trumporleone” Trump, aka “The Great Leader” is apparently begging The Don for a blanket pardon.

The blanket pardon would excuse any federal crimes such as money laundering, perjury, tax fraud and other assorted felonies that Paulie may have committed in the past whether known to Special Counsel Mueller or not. Put simply, Paulie would be given total dispensation by The Great Leader for all federal crimes he has committed that have been uncovered by Mueller.

In pursuit of obtaining a pardon from The Don and after donning (pun intended) a pair of Trumpian Brand ™ Industrial Strength Knee Pads Paulie decided to sing a version of the 1989 song “I beg your pardon” sung by Lynne Anderson, which goes something like this.

I beg your pardon can you do me in the Rose Garden

Along with da sunshine there’s gotta be a little rain sometime

When you take you gotta give so let’s forgive Great Leader

I beg your pardon can you do me in the Rose Garden

I could promise you things like eternal loyalty

But you don’t find criminals growin’ on stalks of clover

So please think it over

And if ass-kissing you could make it come true

I would give you my life right now on a silver platter

But what would it matter

So, laugh for a while and let’s be nutsy

Loyalty shouldn’t be so wishy-washy

Come along and share our freedom while we can