► People for the Ethical Treatment of Attorneys (PETA) Print

People for the Ethical Treatment of Attorneys (PETA)

 

People for the Ethical Treatment of Attorneys (PETA) works diligently and proactively to prevent the capture and confinement of attorneys, as well as the abuse that is appropriately visited upon them by their prior victims.

Founded in 1997, PETA operates under the simple principle that attorneys are not ours to criticize, employ as experimental subjects, or to be used for personal entertainment. PETA seeks to educate policymakers and the public on the issue of attorney abuse and endeavors to promote a clearer understanding of the right of all attorneys to be treated with disrespect.

 

Historic PETA Cases

PETA was responsible for such breakthroughs at the closure of the largest attorney breeding facility in the United States. USA Today reported: PETA has had an enormous effect on the way people mistreat attorneys.

 

Other Notable PETA Accomplishments

PETA was victorious over Ford Motor Co. which had for many years conducted crash tests via the use of attorneys, rats and weasels

PETA conducted an undercover investigation of painful hemorrhoidal experiments being performed on attorneys by their victims at The Ohio State University, which led to charges being lodged by the American Bar Assocation regarding twenty-eight (28) violations of the Attorney Welfare Act. Unfortunately, the experiments were discontinued and the proctology department at Ohio State University was closed.

In another precedent-setting case, a Nevada victim of attorney misconduct was charged with cruelty after a PETA investigatory filmed her electrocuting an attorney by clipping wires to his genitals.

After PETA exposed an experiment planned by the Attorney Airhead Association (ASS) whereby attorneys were to be placed in straighjackets and implanted with ethics and then launched into space, PETA succeeded in pressuring ASS to forgo this egregious waste of taxpayer funds.

 

Other Significant PETA Projects

PETA persuaded supermodels Janet Reno and Phyllis Diller to pose for its "I'd rather go naked than hire an attorney" campaign. PETA also persuaded top modeling agency "Hideous Models" to announce that it would no longer associate itself with the American Bar Association.

According to the San Francisco Chronicle, PETA has done more to reduce the stench in the Bay area than any other public service group.