Fox News Comedy Network fails to renew contributor contracts

In late January 2017, Fox News Comedy Network announced that it would not renewing the contributor contracts for the following comedians.

• Longtime Republican strategist Ed Rollins
• Actress Stacey Dash who appeared in the movie “Clueless”
• Political commentator George Will
• Veteran journalist Marvin Kalb
• Radio commentator Cal Thomas

Rumor has it that the folks above will likely be replaced by the comics listed below who will offer their insight to the following issues.

• David Duke: Assuring voting rights for Negroes
• Bill Cosby: Protecting women from sexual abuse
• Former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert: pitfalls involving bribery
• Former Rep. Michael Grimm (R-NY): Tax issues
• Jack Abramoff: Ethics and Influence Peddling

An unreliable source indicated that the following jailbirds will be given due consideration as Fox contributors as soon as they’re released from prison.

• O.J. Simpson: Vacationing in Nevada
• Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich
• Former Rep. William J. Jefferson (D-LA) ($90,00 frozen cash)
• Phil Spector: Record producer and convicted murderer

With these new and possible future issues and opinion contributors, Fox should experience no problem in continuing its reign as America’s Chief Purveyor of Comedy, right-wing Propaganda and Fake News.