| ► Dick "Big Dick" Cheney bio |
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Dick "Big Dick" Cheney Bio
WMD - Weapons of Mass Destruction Left Coast Liberals have consistently asserted that no “weapons of mass destruction” [WMD] was ever found in Iraq. Although this may be true to some extent, it doesn’t ameliorate and/or disprove Big Dick’s later claim that “weapons of minimal destruction” [WMD] were in fact found.
Draft Dodging 101 Big Dick was an avid and righteous supporter of the Vietnam War; however, he decided, and rightfully so that it was in the country’s best interest that he evade the draft and remain in college. Toward that end, Big Dick made numerous sacrifices for his country and fellowman by applying for and receiving five draft deferments. Big Dick’s Downtime Requirements
During his tenure as President, I’m sorry I mean Vice-President, Big Dick demanded that when he was traveling that his servants (that’d be government employees), forward a copy of what was to be provided in his hotel suite. Those demands from Big Dick are as follows:
Unreliable sources indicate that this isn’t really Big Dick’s laundry list of hotel demands. Luckily, I obtained a copy from an anonymous source who resides in Greenwich Village and it goes like this:
Big Dick’s Heroic Accomplishments
How lucky were we that Big Dick was able to obtain 5 deferments during the Vietnam War? Well I’ll tell ya how lucky we were! If he was shipped off to Vietnam he could have easily been killed or even worse suffered some mental malady. And if that had happened, we would never have been the recipients (winners) of the following Big Dick Largesse nor would we have enjoyed any of the following outcomes.
Big Dick Pimping for an Imperial Presidency
For years (post Nixon era) Big Dick has rightfully lobbied for an Imperial Presidency. In Big Dick’s mind the Congress (people) has absolutely no right to interfere with any decision-making by the President. Put simply, Big Dick believes in the King George theory of ruling the masses (that’d be us). Over the years, Big Dick has righteously espoused the following:
In defending George W’s attack on Iraq and further espousing an Imperial Presidency, Big Dick said:
And Big Dick is right, right? If some slimy, dwarfish commie bastard in Venezuela (President Hugo Chavez) calls George W. the “devil” George W. should have the absolute right to nuke the son-of-a-bitch, right?
It’s not George W’s fault that Congress approved funding for the B-1 Bomber, cluster bombs, napalm, nukes and other assorted armaments, true? What in the hell did these losers expect when they provided George W. with the opportunity to play G.I. Joe and take on the role of The Terminator?
Why shouldn’t George W. have the absolute right to nuke the homes of those that clearly pose “a grave and gathering threat” to the United States like some of the following traitors and God haters?
And George W. and his minions shouldn’t have any trouble locating any
of these unpatriotic losers since their phones are likely being rightfully tapped and/or their emails intercepted.
And last but not least, didn’t George W. have a duty to attack Iraq and get rid of Saddam after he tried to kill his Daddy? Only a sissy (Murtha comes to mind) would argue that George W. didn’t have a constitutional right to spend $1 trillion or more and expend the lives of thousands of Americans to get even with someone that tried to kill Daddy, right?
Thank God for Benevolent Conservatives and god-fearing, born-again Christian patriots like Big Dick. Let’s hear it for the sacrifices put forth by Big Dick!
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