► Did Prosecutor Kevin Baxter deserve to be 2009 Prosecutor of the year? No! Print E-mail
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Did Erie County, OH Prosecutor Kevin Baxter deserve to be named Ohio’s 2009 Prosecutor of the year? No!!

 
Unbelievably, in 2009, the Ohio Prosecuting Attorneys Association bestowed its Outstanding Prosecutor of the Year Award on Erie County Prosecutor Kevin Baxter at its annual meeting held at “The Ridges Insane Asylum” in Athens, Ohio. I’m sorry, I mean at their annual meeting in Columbus.
 
I believe it would have been appropriate if the Ohio Prosecuting Attorneys Association had held its 2009 meeting at “The Ridges Insane Asylum” in Athens, Ohio, since it previously housed nutcases such as serial rapist Billy Mulligan. My sincerest apologies to Billy Mulligan’s family members for the comparison!
 
In 1978, a female inmate at “The Ridges,” asylum workers found inmate Margaret Schilling’s corpse in Ward 20. The cell was locked from the inside, and Ms. Schilling’s body was nude. She had been dead for several weeks. A number of questions about Ms. Schilling’s death remain a mystery to this day, such as:
  • Why was she nude?
  • Why was her clothing folded neatly by her side?
  • And finally, why couldn’t Prosecutor Kevin Baxter account for his whereabouts when she died?
Seemingly, the members of the Ohio Prosecuting Attorney Association that voted Kevin Baxter as Prosecutor of the Year in 2009 did so while (a) smoking left-handed cigarettes, (b) were all drunk as a skunk, and/or (c) were provided with a $5 bribe from Kevin Baxter for their votes. Put simply, one could reasonably conclude that anyone who voted for Kevin Baxter as Ohio Prosecutor of the Year in 2009 was a simpleton or and idiot (my sincerest apologies to idiots.)
 
Conclusion
 
If Erie County Prosecutor Kevin Baxter was the crème de la crème best (the best) of Ohio’s eighty-six (86) County Prosecutors in 2009, then Ohio’s in more trouble than I ever surmised.
 
Awarding Kevin Baxter as Ohio’s Prosecutor of the Year is akin to asking why Red Buttons didn’t question why any of the following persons “never got a dinner” honoring their exemplary endeavors.
  • Madonna for her vigilance and adherence to monogamous relationships
  • Michael Vick for his humane efforts on behalf of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals)
  • Wilt Chamberlain for claiming to have slept with over 10,000 different women
  • Theodore Kaczynski – the Unabomber
  • Kenneth Bianchi – one of the Hillside Stranglers
The following jokes put forth by Red Buttons seem appropriate when dealing with a loser like Erie County Prosecutor Kevin Baxter.
  • “He’s a real loser. He moved into a new neighborhood and got run over by the Welcome Wagon.”
  • “Never raise your hand to your kids [constituents]. It leaves your groin unprotected.”
  • “Elizabeth Taylor has a big heart. She [Kevin Baxter] recently built a halfway house for girls who don’t want to go all the way [continue to perjure themselves].”
 
 
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