► Are Ohioans blessed with the most honest and/competent attorneys in the U.S.? Print E-mail
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Are Ohioans blessed with the most honest/competent attorneys in the U.S?


According to Chief Justice Thomas Moyer and his empirical Wizard and longtime lackey and compliant bootlicker, Ohio Supreme Court Disciplinary Counsel Jonathan Coughlin, they are.
Recently, Jonathan Coughlan admitted that he receives about 3,200 ethics complaints each year in regards to the 42,000 practicing attorneys in Ohio. Of course this doesn’t include complaints received by the 33 certified attorney-grievance committees operating throughout Ohio. Of this amount, Coughlan had the chutzpah to claim he could only find 40 instances of attorney misconduct.
Goshes and Gollies and Gee Whillickers that’s absolutely amazing, right? I would have thought there wouldn’t have been more than two or three given Ohio’s history (ca. 1900-2008) for coming in dead last in disciplining wayward attorneys. To be excruciatingly fair, these statistics only further confirm that Ohioans are truly blessed, right? Praise the Lord and pass the Preparation H.
In 1994, Jack Guttenberg, Dean of the Capitol University Law School wrote an article disclosing that out of over 9,000 attorney complaints filed in 1993, only 36 were deemed valid. Therefore, I believe it would be safe to conclude that real and/or perceived victims of attorney abuse in Ohio are filing at least 10,000 ethics complaint each year (ca. 1995-2009.)
For the purposes of this article, I’ll limit myself to 2009 when there were 42,000 attorneys in Ohio. Therefore, if in fact Ohio is the citadel for honest attorneys, then all of the following would have to be true.
  • With only 42 out of 42,000 attorneys being judged as certified louses, this equates to a purity rating that Ivory Soap would surely be envious of, right?
  • Seating capacity at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland is 20,500 and with a full house you could only seat about 20 dishonest lawyers
  • Seating capacity at Nationwide arena in Columbus is 18,000 and with a sellout crowd you could only seat roughly18 dishonest attorneys
  • Seating capacity at Playhouse Square in Cleveland 1,250 and if it was sold out ya could only seat 1 dishonest attorney
Unless the attorneys judged by Jonathon Coughlin and/or Chief Justice Thomas Moyer appeared at the venues above in the nude or were wearing a Zoot suit as pictured to the right, nobody in the crowd would even know the louses were in the audience.
I’m impressed that Ohio is the center of the universe for honest attorneys, how about you! With this evidence at hand, maybe my move to California was premature.
However, in celebration of Ohio’s ranking, I immediately consumed four bottles of Corona, 1 bottle of Muscatel and partook of a little medicinal marijuana (Hey folks, it’s legal in California!)

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