► Newt Gingrich: Today’s “Ass-Kisser” Award Winner Print E-mail

Newt Gingrich: Today’s “Ass-Kisser” Award Winner

 

Congratulations to….
 
Newt Gingrich
Today’s “Ass-Kisser” Award Winner
 
 

As everyone knows, Newt is one of America’s Premier Bullshitters, Lunatics, Morons and Aspiring Standup Comedians in addition to being a well-respected Womanizing Two-Timer.

 
After being provided with a free pair of industrial strength knee pads by an unnamed Shell employee, Newt decided it was time to give an award winning performance as an Ass-Kisser for Big Oil.
 
On June 16, 2013, Newt wrote a rambling screed in support of Big Oil wherein he also took aim at the IRS targeting conservative groups for extra scrutiny in applying for tax free status. Newt went on to falsely state that Federal agents:
  • Were asking citizens about the content of their prayers
  • Investigating breakfast conversations hosted by an 83-year-old grandmother
Newt the Bullshitter went on to say,
  1. How else to explain the Fish and Wildlife Service’s threats last year to halt oil production in Texas to protect a Sand Dune Lizard which it claimed might be endangered.
  2. How else to explain the criminal charges the Justice Department filed in 2011 against seven North Dakota oil companies over the deaths of a tiny handful of birds found near oil pits?
  3. And how else to explain the administration's continued shut-out of Alaskan energy development despite the enormous amount of land available, vast enough to accommodate both broad conservation and safe production?
On behalf of Shell and BP, among others, the Ass-Kisser then said,
  • The Alaska shut-out hasn’t elicited much of a response from people in the lower 48, maybe because many wrongly assume that the tight oil and gas boom means the U.S. no longer needs Alaskan energy.
  • Offshore Alaska could generate $193 billion in new revenue and create 55,000 jobs nationally.
  • The bureaucratic obstruction in Alaska and throughout the country, designed solely to advance the Left’s ideological agenda, is a scandal of its own, and it’s one that has played out openly.
And finally, to prove his bona fides as one of Big Oils Premier Ass-Kissers and one of America’s Most Accomplished Hypocrites, Newt said,
  • “The American people should remember that when it comes to their government, it doesn’t have to be bribery or outright deception to be an outrageous abuse of power.”
Congrats Newt; keep up the good work! We should let everyone know of your amazing record as one of America’s most Disrespected and Reliable “Ass-Kissers”; you are far too humble.
 

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