Trump discovery that habeas corpus meant “deliver the body” leads him to fashioning shopping list of babes

After hearing the term” habeas corpus,” Trump originally thought it was the name of an illegal immigrant from El Salvador. Just when he was about to order ICE to send in a few goons to arrest Mr. Corpus, however, Chief of Staff Stephen Miller intervened and corrected him.

This then led to VP J.D. “The Couchman” Vance (a licensed attorney) to inform The Don that “habeas corpus” was Latin legal terminology for “deliver the body.”

Upon being corrected by “The Couchman,” The Don immediately ordered Miller to assemble the following knowledgeable and experienced gentlemen to assist him in “fashioning a suitable shopping list of babes.”

• Corey Lewandowski: Multiyear affair with Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem
• Secretary of War Pete Hegseth: Paid off women who accused him of sexual assault
• HUD Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.: Accused of sexually assaulting his babysitter
• Elon Musk: Fathered 14 children with 4 different women
• Matt Gaetz: Eyewitnesses testified that Matty had sex with a minor
• Newt Gingrich: Cheated on first and second wives
• Rudi Guiliani: Married his mistress shortly after divorcing his second wife
• TX AG Ken Paxton: Yearlong affair with married Christian influencer that included multiple secret rendezvous across the country and overseas

With the expert help of the gentlemen listed above, it surely shouldn’t take too much time before these moral and ethical stalwarts can assemble a list of babes that will allow Trump to pick those most qualified.

I’m confident that all of them are knowledgeable that Trump prefers well-endowed women, meaning his personal preference would be some Stormy Daniel’s look-alikes.