► Who Will Romney choose as his Surrogates to garner the Family Values Voters? Print E-mail

Who Will Romney choose as his Surrogates to garner the Family Values Voters?

There can be no dispute that Mitt Romney desperately needs to cater to the Family Values Voters if he has any chance of ousting Obama in November.
Of course any surrogate that Mitt employs will have to have an established record as an ultra-conservative in addition to being a proven hero of the Family Values crowd. With that said, I suspect that Mitt will lean on one or more of the following American Heroes to help him secure the lion’s share of the Family Values Voters.
  1. Newt Gingrich – thrice married Family Values Guru to assist in getting the vote out among religiously motivated wife-cheaters
  2. U.S. Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) - will provide invaluable help in garnering the Values vote among hookers, prostitutes and their employers (pimps)
  3. Former Idaho Sen. Larry Craig – indispensable in locking up the vote among evangelical airport restroom employees
  4. Rev. Ted Haggard – will be able to lend a hand to persuade undecided Coloradoans that switch-hitters in the ministry are just as valuable as ones employed by the Colorado Rockies
If all of these Super American Patriots and Certified Family Values Gurus can be persuaded to troll for votes on Romney’s behalf, Obama is going to be in for a big surprise in November.
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