| ► America's Premier Christian Value Hero Rev. Jimmy Swaggart |
 |
 |
|
America's Premier Christian Value Hero Rev. Jimmy Swaggart
This article is intended to publicize the real Christian Heroes who have dedicated their time and to expose the heathens, secularists and America haters.
 To assure that I would be accurate in naming names if you will, I decided that journalistic integrity required that I engage in a little due diligence by searching relevant topics and authors on the Internet. I discovered the “truth” by reviewing Christian Value resources run by, Pat Robertson, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Michael Savage, Penthouse, and more importantly Hustler and other celebrated Christian websites before I came to the irrefutable conclusion that the Right Rev. Jimmy Swaggart was in fact America's Preeminent Christian Values Hero.
As I suspect you know, there are many, many deserving born-again-Christian, family-values candidates running amok among us. However I felt that the Right Rev. Jimmy Swaggart was in fact the crème de le crème of the outstanding candidates that I researched. And lastly, after listening to that ol’ 1959 ditty “Go, Jimmy, Go” by Jimmy Clanton and his Rockets, on the radio, I knew that Jimmy was the Man.
Examples of the Right Rev. Jimmy Swaggart's Religiosity
—1989, Catherine Campen told Penthouse she had out-of-wedlock sex 10 times with Jimmy. (Jim says, since it was in the missionary style, therefore it was Biblically correct.)
—purchasing the services of $35 an hour hookers (Jimmy says, that he had to be hard on these evil women while ministering to them)
—prostitute Debra Murphee told Penthouse in 1988 that Jimmy asked her “if
 I’d ever let anyone screw my daughter when she was that Young, and I said, no, she’s only nine years old.” (Jimmy sez, he was just trying to help a struggling single-mother) —admitted to being addicted to pornography while at the same time pushing for anti-pornography legislation (Cool!)
—Sept. 12, 2004 said, “I’ve never seen a man in my life that I wanted to marry (Must have skipped the Folsom Prison tour). And I’m going to be blunt and plain: if one ever looks at me like that, I’m going to kill him and tell God he died.”
—Finally, Jimmy an unreliable source says Jimmy said, , “Let he who is without sex cast the first stone" (aka, as a self-made man if ya know what I mean!).
|