Televangelist Dave Kistler: Today’s “Deviant Trump Ass-Kisser” Award Winner

To further kiss up to Donald “Trumporleone” Trump, as a board member of the American Pastors Network and president of the North Carolina Pastors Network, Davey engaged in a podcast titled “Stand in the Gap.”

During the podcast and only after lathering up his severely chapped lips with a tube of Industrial Strength Chapstick, Davey made the following laughable statements.

• “It bothers me, and I think it should bother every freedom-loving American when Christian leaders, so-called, attack this president [Trump] and then endorse progressive, socialist ideology.”
• Slammed “conservative Christian leaders” who “criticize the president incessantly.”
• “If we don’t support a president who supports those things [preserve religious freedom and traditional American values], when we lose our religious liberties, we will have lost them forever.”

So, according to Davey the Ass-Kisser, any so-called conservative Christian leader who criticizes The Great Leader is basically guilty of committing a sin.

Davey’s most laughable statement is that religious leaders must support The Great Leader because of his support for traditional American values. Some of the American values Davey speaks of regarding The Great Leader are as follows.

• Cheating on your wife by screwing a Porn Star
• Defrauding thousands of folks via the sham Trump University
• Lying well over 12,000 times since January 2017
• Committing election law felonies

Shouldn’t be long before Davey and those of his ilk embark on a crusade to support past and present Mafia Godfathers and Trump mentors such as:

• Vincent “The Chin” Gigante: Genovese family boss
• Carmine “The Snake” Persico: Columbo family boss
• Salvatore “Sammy The Bull” Gravano: Gambino underboss
• Anthony “Tony Ducks” Corallo: Lucchese family boss
• Angelo “Quack Quack” Ruggiero: Gambino family capo
• Venero “Benny Eggs” Mangano: Genovese underboss
• Joseph “Joe Bananas” Bonanno: Bonanno family boss
• John “The Teflon Don” Gotti: Gambino family boss

And of course, any evangelical preacher who fails to sing the praises of the above-named Mob bosses and/or underbosses will likely face the prospect of being assaulted and/or waterboarded a made member of the Gambino crime family.