► Trump announces Mar-a-Lago bash for distinguished Pedophiles, Wife-beaters and Sexual Assaulters Print E-mail

Trump announces Mar-a-Lago bash for distinguished Pedophiles, Wife-beaters and Sexual Assaulters


As America’s Premier Misogynist, Admitted Sexual Assaulter and Serial Adulterer, The Great Leader is about to announce a spectacular gala event to be held at his Mar-a-Lago resort to honor some of America’s Premier Pedophiles, Wife Beaters and Sexual Assaulters. The invitees are a who’s who of Celebrated Scumbags who are now or have been in the past close friends and/or associates of The Great Leader.


The list of honorees that have been or will shortly be invited to this Grand Event are:

  • Jeffrey Epstein: Convicted child molester and registered sex offender
  • Robert Porter: Wife beater and former White House Staff Secretary for The Great Leader
  • Burger Puzder: Wife beater and Trump nominee for Labor Secretary
  • Bill Cosby: Found guilty of drugging and sexually assaulting numerous women
  • Roman Polanski: Charged with statutory rape, sodomy and child molestation involving 13-year-old girl (will be provided with safe passage and return
  • Justice Clarence “This Cokes for You” Thomas
  • Woody Allen: Engaged in sexual relations with ex-wife’s minor adopted daughter, Soon Yi
  • Vincent Margara: Star of MTV show Viva La Bam, convicted of two counts of sexual assault of a child, charges stemming from hi groping of young girls aged 12 and 14 (One of Epstein’s peers)

The following attendees will be responsible for various tasks in assuring the glamorous event is successful.

  • Jerry Epstein will provide video footage in demonstrating appropriate steps to assure success when engaged in sex trafficking of minor girls
  • Rob Porter and Burger Puzder will hold several in-depth exercises on assuring success while beating the crap out of your wife or girlfriend
  • Bill Cosby will provide drugs to the attendees after he has taught them how to successfully
  • Roman Polanski will provide tips on how to successfully seduce your wife’s minor daughter
  • Clarence Thomas will provide a 20-minute speech on the efficacy of getting away with sexually harassing government employees
  • Woody Allen will demonstrate the correct method to successfully seduce a spouse’s child
  • Vincent Margara will teach the attendees on the proper way to grope girls aged 12 through 14

Fully nude strippers from Cheetah II and the Kitten Club will be tasked with serving drinks to the attendees.


The cost for drinks will be assessed at $48 per order along with a mandatory $20 tip for the stripper. The $48 will be paid directly to the Trump Mar-a-Lago resort as will $18 of each stripper tip. Imported beers will cost a mere $37 a bottle and will also include a $20 mandatory tip for the stripper. The money for beer sales will be distributed in the same manner as mandated for mixed drinks.


And lastly, Jeffrey Epstein will be charged with videotaping the event. Copies of the video involving each attendee will be available to the attendee from Jeffrey for a cost of $50,000, with 95% going to the Trump Mar-a-Lago resort. Jeffrey has promised The Great Leader that he will not make copies of the original tapes for later use, which caused both to laugh uproariously.


For additional post-election articles re: The Don visit the articles below

  1. Trump miscellaneous opinion articles: Art. 3 thru 75 Dawg Opinions
  2. Trump’s victims of Draining the Swamp: Art. 76 thru 86 Dawg Opinions
  3. Trump Filling the Swamp: Art. 87 thru 92 Dawg Opinions
  4. Trump miscellaneous opinion articles: Art. 93 thru 99
  5. Trump miscellaneous opinion articles: Art. 323 thru 338 Dawg Opinions 
  6. Dawg Laments: Art. 3 thru 50
  7. Ass-Kisser Awards: Art. 286 thru 292
  8. Bigot/Racist Awards: Art. 331 thru 346
  9. Bullshit Awards: Art. 370 thru 441
  10. Chicken Little Award Winner: Art. 19 thru 21
  11. Dumbo Award Winner: Art. 49 thru 52
  12. Humanitarian Award Winner: Art. 70 thru 78
  13. IHOP (Flip-Flop) Award Winner: Art. 53 thru 55
  14. Liar Awards: Art. 1 thru 112 Liar Awards
  15. Lunatic Awards: Art. 349 thru 372
  16. Misc. Awards: Art. 47 thru 88
  17. Misogynist Award: Art. 40 thru 43
  18. Moron Awards: Art. 256 thru 291
  19. Narcissist Awards: Art. 6 thru 32
  20. Screwball Awards: Art. 281 thru 292
  21. Rodney Dangerfield Comic Awards: Art. 218 thru 262

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