► Right Rev. Donald “Trumporleone” Trump rewrites the 10 commandments Print E-mail

Right Rev. Donald “Trumporleone” Trump rewrites the 10 commandments

 

After being anointed as the godliest president in history by former Rep. Michelle Bachman (see URL at end of article), The Great Leader conducted a séance among other well-respected religious leaders such as Sean Hannity, Rush “The Doper” Limbaugh and Rudy Giuliani. During the séance, The Great Leader said he received a direct message from God ordering him to rewrite the 10 commandments in his own words.

 

After receipt of the divine order from God, Rev. Trump authored the 10 commandments set forth below.

  1. You shall have no other masters except me
  2. You shall make no idols unless it mimics me
  3. You shall not take the name of your master (that’d be me) in vain except in instances when you’re exposing unpatriotic, God-hating commies like Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Rep. Adam Schiff or  Sen. Chuck Schumer  
  4. Keep the Sabbath day holy for golfing at your master’s golf resort in West Palm Beach, Florida
  5. Honor me and your master which is me
  6. You shall not commit adultery unless the woman is either a Porn Star, Playboy model or some other hot looking chick
  7. You shall not steal unless it is necessary to keep up your extravagant lifestyle
  8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor unless he/she is a Democrat or someone that ratted me out like Don McGhan or Michael Cohen
  9. You shall not covet unless it’s a woman that you crave to have a sex with or the wealth of a real billionaire like Jeff Bezos

Within minutes of drafting the new 10 commandments and showing it to his fellow séance attendees, a vote of unanimity was taken to accept Rev. Trump’s rewrite. At the conclusion of the event, Rev. Trump’s son Don Jr. passed out a collection plate that had a note attached to it that said donations of less than $15,000 will not be accepted.

 

For additional post-election articles re: The Don visit the articles below

  1. Trump miscellaneous articles: Art. 3 thru 72 Dawg Opinions
  2. Trump’s victims of Draining the Swamp: Art. 73 thru 83 Dawg Opinions
  3. Trump Filling the Swamp: Art. 84 thru 89 Dawg Opinions
  4. Trump miscellaneous articles: Art. 90 thru 104
  5. Trump miscellaneous articles: Art. 320 thru 335 Dawg Opinions 
  6. Dawg Laments: Art. 3 thru 47
  7. Ass-Kisser Awards: Art. 268 thru 272
  8. Bigot/Racist Awards: Art. 331 thru 345
  9. Bullshit Awards: Art. 370 thru 441
  10. Chicken Little Award Winner: Art. 19 thru 21
  11. Dumbo Award Winner: Art. 49 thru 52
  12. Humanitarian Award Winner: Art. 69 thru 76
  13. IHOP (Flip-Flop) Award Winner: Art. 49 thru 50
  14. Liar Awards: Art. 1 thru 107 Liar Awards
  15. Lunatic Awards: Art. 348 thru 371
  16. Misc. Awards: Art. 45 thru 80
  17. Misogynist Award: Art. 39 thru 40
  18. Moron Awards: Art. 253 thru 281
  19. Narcissist Awards: Art. 6 thru 31
  20. Screwball Awards: Art. 280 thru 291
  21. Rodney Dangerfield Comic Awards: Art. 217 thru 257
 
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