► Brett Kavanaugh laughingly claims he was virgin into his 20s Print E-mail

Brett Kavanaugh laughingly claims he was virgin into his 20s

 

In a lame effort to establish that he’s not guilty of sexual assault regarding Dr. Ford or of exposing himself to Ms. Rodriguez while he was attending Yale, Brett the Aspiring Comedian, recently (9/24/18) appeared on the Fox News Comedy Network.

 

The following discourse took place between Fox’s The Story hos Martha MacCallum and Brett.

 

MARTHA:

“So you’re saying through all these years that you were in question you were a virgin?”

BRETT:

“That’s correct.”

MARTHA:

“Never had sexual intercourse with anyone in high school?”

BRETT:

“Correct.”

MARTHA:

“And through what years in college, since we’re probing into your personal life here?”

BRETT:

“Many years after. “I’ll leave it at that. Many years after.”

 

So, now we have a candidate for the Supreme Court going on live TV to defend himself against sexual assault/harassment allegation by claiming he was a virgin until he was about 25-years old. If true, which it clearly isn’t, then Brett would have still been a Virgin when he graduated from Yale Law School in 1990 (DOB: 1965).  

 

Obviously, Brett missed his calling as a Standup Comedians.

 

However, to be fair to Brett, several anonymous and unreliable sources have provided the following alternate facts to support Brett’s claim that he was a Virgin until he was at least 25-years old.

  • Restricted air travel to flying on Virgin Airlines
  • Limited purchases of Cooking Oil to Extra Virgin Olive Oil
  • Bought all of his nonfiction based books from Virgin Books
  • When traveling would only stay at Virgin Hotels

And lastly, if Brett was truly a Virgin from 1965 through 1990, then that would explain why his left bicep was significantly larger than his right. 

 

 

 

 
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