► Alan Dershowitz: Today’s “Whining Crybaby” Award Winner Print E-mail

Alan Dershowitz: Today’s “Whining Crybaby” Award Winner


This isn’t the first Award presented to Alan. In the past, he has been the recipient of three (3)Awards. Those awards are listed at the end of this article and can be viewed by going to the listed categories.


After the Special Counsel’s investigation into Russiagate began in earnest, Alan decided he could again become prominent in the legal punditry world by becoming an apologist for Donald “Trumporleone” Trump.


Since retiring as a Harvard law professor in 2018, Alan spent most of his time appearing as a commentator, book author and speaker. However, when it became apparent to Alan that the real money was in portraying himself as a Sean Hannity legal expert, he decided to become a legal commentator on the Fox News Comedy Network.


After Bob Mueller’s investigation harnessed numerous indictments and several guilty pleas, Alan decided it was time to become The Great Leader’s de facto defense attorney. Towards that end, Alan made the following laughable legal assertions.


During an April 2018 CNN interview along with Jeffrey Toobin, Alan said that The Great Leader’s firing of Comey was acceptable even if the single reason for doing it was to being an end to the Russian collusion investigation. In response, Toobin said such an act would amount to “obstruction of justice.”


After greasing up his lips with a tube of Industrial Strength Chapstick, Alan argued that it would be impossible for the firing of Comedy to be an act of obstruction of justice. He then said:

  • “You have to have an illegal act.”
  • “And you can’t have an illegal act when the president acts within his constitutional authority.”

Alan’s asinine comments are in keeping with Nixon’s infamous statement:


"When the President does it, that means that it is not illegal"?


In an appreciative response to Alan’s oral genuflecting in his honor, The Great Leader tweeted:

  • “A must watch: Legal Scholar Alan Dershowitz was just on @foxandfriends talking of what is going on with respect to the greatest Witch Hunt in U.S. political history.”
  • “Enjoy!”

Subsequently (July 2018), Whiner Alan cried incessantly in an op-ed piece published in The Hill about being shunned by his alleged friends at Martha’s Vineyard, which is a playground for millionaires and billionaires. Towards that end, The Crybaby said in part:

  • “But one good thing is that being shunned by some ‘old friends’ on Martha’s Vineyard has taught me who my real friends are and who my fairweather friends were.”
  • “This [shunning] all familiar to me, since I lived through McCarthyism in the 1950s, when lawyers who represented alleged communists on civil libertarian grounds were shunned.”
  • Some of these lawyers and victims of McCarthyism lived on Martha’s Vineyard.”
  • “I never thought I would see McCarthyism come to Martha’s Vineyard, but I have.”

Don’t you just hate it when some Arrogant Whiner cry’s incessantly about being shunned for being a total A-hole?


Hopefully, The Great Leader and/or one of his Designated Toadies have reimbursed Alan for the costs he incurred in purchasing a pair of Industrial Strength Knee Pads and a tube of Industrial Strength Chapstick.


Paul Manafort Ass-Kisser Award = 1

Trump Ass-Kisser Award = 2

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