Ten Commandments for Republican Family-Values Polticians

There are several versions of the Ten Commandments; however, the pillars of religiosity, morality and Family Values that have dedicated their lives to the service of other women, I'm sorry I mean their country, submitted an application for a slight revision to several of the commandments to St. Pete.

To assure that they would get a fair hearing before St. Pete and his immediate boss (need I say who he is?), the group employed Jimmy Swaggart to make the presentation. Lo and behold if ol' Jimmy wasn't able to persuade St. Pete to make the following changes to several of the Ten Commandments: which were of course revised for the benefit of the following born-again-christian, bible-thumping, family-values gurus and  hypocrites (is there another kind - so sayeth the Lord) listed below.

• Thou shall not kill – unless the Som-bitch deserves it 
• Thou shall not commit adultery – acceptable if spouse doesn’t know or doesn't give a damn
• Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife – unless she’s one hot babe
• Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor – democrats excluded

These necessary revisions were made for the benefit of the family-values stalwarts named below:

• U.S. Senator John Ensign - (didn't know it cost more to screw the help)
• U.S. Senator David Vitter - (a call girls best friend)
• South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford - (Mark sez, Hot Tomales for everyone)
• Ex-Idaho Senator Larry Craig - (Larry's favorite restroom tune? - The Hokey Pokey)

And who better to deliver the ad-hominum prayer for these indominable family-values professionals than the Right-Reverand Rick Santorum.