Trump offers new product line of Penis Pumps

As one of America’s most disrespected business entrepreneurs, Donald “Trumporleone” Trump has decided to use his recent notoriety to promote yet another product bearing his name.

The new product will be a line of assorted Penis Pumps (PPs) that will come in varying sizes such as Small, Medium and Large. For those afflicted with a severe case of Donalditis (small hands), The Don will be offering a Petite Penis Pump.

The Penis Pumps will of course be offered in many colors including purple, orange and green. They can also be ordered in red for those who are right-handed or blue for left-handers.

Customers who order a Premier Penis Pump will receive a six-month supply of Industrial Strength Viagra. In addition, they will receive a complimentary CD of “Up, Up and Away” by the 5^th Dimension.