► Dawg receives text-message from God Print E-mail

Dawg receives text-message from God

Shortly after my 45th wedding anniversary, I unexpectedly received a text message from God, which went like this:
 
Dear Dave: As you know, everyone is required to go through an intensive interview process before they can be allowed to enter Heaven. The process does not allow for any dissembling of the facts since I know the real truth.
 
During a recent conference presided over by myself in conjunction with St. Peter regarding the interview process, it was determined that certain exceptions should be implemented for future candidates.
 
The exceptions we implemented on April 1, 2009 and are as follows:
 
If a male candidate has been married 45 or more years to the same woman and that woman has unfortunately only provided him with daughters, then the candidate immediately qualifies for (a) a deluxe condo, (b) luxury car of his choosing, and (c) unlimited free meals/drinks at the local Hooters.
 
I then responded by asking God if the same interview exemptions applied to women. God said, absolutely not; after all Dave as you know it’s a man’s world, and more importantly we’re all guys, right Dave? God went on to say, Geez, Dave who do ya think wrote the lyrics to James Browns top 40 hit: “It’s a man’s world”? Well Dave, it was me! 
 
I was like really happy to receive this exemption from God because I kinda thought I might be traveling due south when I appeared before Saint Pete to be interviewed. What a relief! 

 

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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