The Don’s Potential Presidential Advisory Capos 

In the unlikely event that The Don is elected President in November 2016, he would need to surround himself with what he believes would be qualified advisors, all of whom would be given the exalted title of “Capo”.

Of course it goes without saying that in the process of presenting themselves to The Don for consideration, the prospective Capos will be required to respectfully genuflect and kiss The Don’s ring. It may well be that in the vetting process The Don may also demand that the prospective Capos kiss his foot or some other party of his anatomy. 

Given The Don’s close association with and glowing comments about the following folks, it is reasonable to suspect any or all of them would become his closest advisors.

Chris “The Bulge" Christie

After being thoroughly dumped on by the GOP primary voters, Chris decided to jump on The Don’s presidential wagon. In return for kissing The Don’s Ass (pinkie ring not available), Chris was named as The Don’s consigliore who would be in charge of heading The Don’s Transgender, I’m sorry I mean Transition Team if he’s elected president.

Put simply, as one The Don’s Capos, The Bulge would be responsible for assembling a team of Soldiers along with an army of complaint lackeys, all of whom would be required to pay homage to The Don.

Alex “The Conspiracy King” Jones

After interviewing The Don, Alex praised him as a “George Washington” figure and encouraged his low I.Q. listeners to contribute to his campaign. Subsequently, The Don praised Alex for his “amazing” reputation and promised, “I will not let you down.”

FYI: Alex’s conspiracy theories includes his belief that events like the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting, the Boston Marathon bombing, and the Aurora, Colorado movie theater massacre were all government-orchestrated attacks.

Roger “Potty Mouth” Stone

Roger has been associated with The Don for a longtime. He worked on The Don’s campaign through August 2015 and continues (ca. June 2016) to serve as one of The Don’s compliant soldiers.

FYI: Potty Mouth Roger stared an anti-Hillary group in 2008 with the acronym “C.U.N.T,” and has called for her to be executed. He called a news commentator a “stupid negro.” And lastly, Roger’s next book is about Hillary and Bill murdering JFK Jr. “because he was in the way.”

Michael “The Loon” Savage

Savage threw his support for The Don early on. The Don has made numerous appearance on Savage’s comedy radio show, “The Savage Nation.”

FYI: Mike the Loon has dedicated his career to spewing forth an assortment of outrageous and defamatory statements, some of which are as follows:

• “I fear that Obama will stir up a race was in order to seize absolute power.”
• Obama “wants to infect the nation with Ebola.”
• Obama is engaging in “genocide” against the white race (honkies)
• “The radical left and the radical Muslims are natural blood brothers.”

And lastly, after Mike the Loon offered to become The Don’s head of the National Institutes of Health if he were elected, The Don responded by describing the offer as ‘common sense.”

Ann “The Man” Coulter

Annie has repeatedly performed as The Don’s primary pimp. The Don referred to Annie’s anti-immigrant book, “Adios, America,” as “a great read.” In response, Annie believes that she was the inspiration for The Don’s anti-immigrant rants.

While donning a pair of Industrial Strength Knee Pads while genuflecting in The Don’s honor, Annie defended him by calling South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley (Indian descent) an “immigrant” who “does not understand America’s history.

Annie has continued with her racist comments by claiming that “immigrants are more dangerous than ISIS and that “real Hispanics are on welfare.”