► Rep. John Boehner: 2010 Crybaby Award Winner Print E-mail

Rep. John Boehner: 2010 Crybaby Award Winner 


Congratulations to….
US Rep. John Boehner!! 
2010 “Crybaby” Award Winner
Ohio Rep. John Boehner hails from the Cincinnati area, a bastion for right wing conservative types. Johnny Baby is an anomaly among conservatives from southern Ohio given his repeated crying bouts while speaking to the media.
Back in the day (ca. 1950s in Toledo) my grade school friends and I provided special therapy sessions for crybabies like Johnny. We’d take them down to the banks of the 10 mile creek on Manhattan Blvd. and treat them to what is now called “water-boarding.” I’m sure that Johnnies crybaby days would have come to an abrupt halt.
It appears that Mr. Boehner may well have provided the inspiration to Johnny Ray when he wrote his famously successful song “Cry” in 1952. An unreliable source indicated that the original lyrics went something like this:
  • If your lobbyist sends a letter of goodbye
  • It’s no secret you’ll feel better if you cry
  • When waking from a bad dream [Pelosi’s still speaker] don’t you sometimes think it’s real
  • But it’s only false emotion that you feel 
I was also advised by an unreliable and anonymous source that in 1990, director John Waters’ was inspired by Boehner’s crying bouts to produce a teen-musical film starring Johnny Depp titled “Cry-Baby.”
As the new Speaker of the House (Jan 2011) I’m sure we’ll be witness to even more of Johnny’s crying bouts, which will only further prove that he’s one big time Sissy if y’all know what I mean.


Congrats Crybaby; keep up the good work! We should let your constituents all know of your sorrowful record; you are far too modest.


The Dawg~
Folsom, California




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