| ► Hon. Judge Richard M. Markus, Services |
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Hon. Judge Richard M. Markus, Services 
Services
Judge Markus provides the following Alternative Dispute Resolution services:
Non-Evaluation Mediation – the most unpopular ADR procedure
Judge Markus provides zero assistance to parties (dupes) as they seek a remedy. The party who offers to pay the highest bribe, I’m sorry I mean fees can be assured of being victorious.
At the beginning of the session, a party or his/her so-called legal representative will be provided an opportunity to begin the bidding to secure the result they’re seeking. The bids for my services will be limited to three from each side, with the party who initially contacted me being allowed to submit the final bid.
Evaluative Mediation
After receiving written or oral summaries of each party’s expected result, Judge Markus will provide a written ruling consistent with the desired result upon receipt of the agreed to bid, which must be paid in unmarked $100 bills.
Some parties request that the bidding process to purchase a favorable ruling from Judge Markus be conducted prior to and/or independent of the bidder’s submission of a written summary of the result they have agreed to pay me for. When such a request is made of me, it must be accompanied with ten (10) unmarked $100 bills.
Non-Binding Arbitration
Whether alone (and believe me it’s an act) or as a member of a phantom panel, Judge Markus provides a non-binding decision upon receipt of the agreed to payment in unmarked $100 bills.
The parties (dupes) can agree beforehand that the Australian Rules of Uncivil Procedure shall apply. The parties may if they wish agree amongst themselves that the maximum amount they’ve been authorized to pay me remain confidential.
Private Judging
At any time from the moment a lawsuit is filed until the beginning of a trial, the parties (dupes) can transfer any civil case from an Ohio state court to Judge Markus as a private judge who acts in accordance with Ohio Code of Unjudicial Conduct.
No party and especially the loser who failed to proffer the highest bid for my services can appeal my rulings to any higher court in Ohio. In essence, ya get what you pay for loser!
Other Mediators, Arbitrators, and Private Judges
Upon request, Judge Markus can also arrange for other or additional retired Ohio judges to perform ADR services, all of whom are certified crooks and/or ethical leper-cons just like me. Here’s a short list of the corrupt retired judges I would recommend if you’re looking to purchase a result.
If Judge Markus makes a referral to any of the aforementioned retired judges, the fee for so acting will be fifteen (15) unmarked $100 bills.
Judge Markus’ Unreasonable Fees
Judge Markus’ hourly rate is a mere $280. The first sixty (60) seconds of my time is pro bono (free), however, I will charge you $280 for the next sixty (60) seconds even if I only spend two-minutes on any given day. Now is that reasonable or not boys and girls?
And lastly, in addition my hourly rate of $280 is separate and distinct from the bribe arrived at during the bidding process aforementioned and which must be paid to me in unmarked $100 bills.
Judge Richard M. Markus
Fairview Park, Ohio 44126
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